DRAMA IN ASO ROCK: 500 MILLION NAIRA INAUGURATION PARTY

01 introduction:

Government "fiscal-monetary" policy has created hardship in the land of WAZOBIA, millions of pedestrian citizens are finding it hard to survive or fulfil their basic needs of existence, this is as a result of hyperinflation occasioned by the removal of subsidy on petroleum products and the liberalisation of the foreign exchange market, coupled with the upward movement of the cost of importation by ways of the adjustment of the import tariffs to reflect market dynamics.

Most economists agreed that a drastic laissez-faire, monetary, fiscal, economic policy must be adopted, if at all, a sustainable, reasonable, positive, outcome to our economic challenges must be found.  

Economic theory as we all know it, is predicated on uncertainty, reflected in the phrase (ceteris paribus). Put it differently, depending on all the variables and factors behind a given policy being equal. 

However, events since the above mentioned laissez-faire, policy directions of government were implemented, these events mentioned in previous paragraphs have revealed the inadequacy of government decisions within the purview of socio-economic analysis.

Hyperinflation has decimated the purchasing power of the citizenry leading to the "vuvuzelisation" for the need to adjust the basic or minimum wage structure in the country to reflect inflationary trend. 

This debate and agitation from Labour and civil society led to the realisation on the government side for the creation of a committee to establish what exactly would be an appropriate, sustainable, minimum wage. 

This committee in my view is an illegal creation usurping the mandate of National Salaries Incomes And Wages Commission. 

A 37 man committee was established by government. However, the cost of inauguration and activities of this illegal minimum wage committee is now a subject of a drama. 

Act 1: Scene 01

Akume:

Good morning Mr. President. 

I have just received a proposal for the inauguration of the minimum wage committee and I think we should act on it as quickly as possible sir. 

Mr. President: 

Good morning SGF.  Yes, I understand the urgency of the issue, please, go and put it in writing, official, statutory, communication for record purposes. 

Akume: 

Surely, will be done accordingly sir. 

After about two ours of drafting, correction of spellings, grammatical imperfections, and typographical errors commonplace in official communications in Nigeria, a letter emerged with official seal.

Act 1: Scene 02

Akume:

I am back sir...... This is the letter, with official seal done according to  protocol.  We budgeted initially N1.8billion for the inauguration, upon careful re-examination we decided to cut it down to 1billion, which is a good budget given the number crunching exercise and the calibre of people associated with the activity. It is a great national exercise sir. 

Mr. President:

Aaaah..laugh.. Akume, this amount is difficult to justify oooo. Remember, we are still battling the N3billion debacle, and Betta Edu, scandal report is pending on my table.  Akume, this is my directive, change N1. 8billion, 1billion, to 500million, inauguration budget for minimum wage committee activities accordingly.

Akume:

Sir, is that fund not too small for the calibre of party members in the committee. I mean most are governors....

Act 1: Scene 03

Mr. President:

Please, follow my instruction... What is important for now is to prevent public outcry concerning the humongous fund of N1billion.

I can assure you that as we proceed with the activities without any protest from the populace, then another 500million will be added.

Akume:

Aaaah... Laugh... Sir, you are a master strategist.. I could recall that we have pending issue to resolve concerning N100billion expenditure with the national assembly... Sir, hopefully this wouldn't be added to their inquisitiveness in the name of oversight.

Mr. President:

Let us hope not... I have my people on the ground. However, Ndume might be playing difficult again, recall very well that he almost created national problem for the government on the relocation issues concerning FAAN and CBN.

Akume:

Absolutely right sir... In fact, I heard that some newspapers have started publishing leaked copy of this letter....

Mr. President:

Noooo!! this is sabotage..  This is a violation of official secret act... Take action immediately to mitigate any backslash. Get me Anjuri Ngelale. 

Akume, left hurriedly to Anjuri Ngelale's office, and within two shakes of a dog's tail a press release emerged.

However, the opposition has started feasting on the financial recklessness, presented in the request letter to the president. 

I personally think it is a ridiculous amount, set aside for the inauguration of the committee and whatever fake, illegal, activities they apportion to themselves. 

This is a job that National Bureau of Statistics and National Salaries Incomes And Wages Commission have capacity to do. They only need to give the report generated to the government who under normal condition, in fulfilment of their constitutional responsibility would deliberate on it and come out with their decision on National Minimum Wage in collaboration with Labour unions and other stakeholders in the private sector. 

We do not need N500million to be able to make this a reality.